Ten Wildebeests in a Teacup (johnboze) wrote,
Ten Wildebeests in a Teacup
johnboze

My Morning Of Awkwardness, so Far...

This morning I am in an odd mood. I went out the back door and the Backstreet Boys were kicking the crap out of the New Kids on the block. I took some time to ponder this as I walked down the alleyway. A lime green and chrome-plated El Camino pulled up beside me and the driver told me to get in. We drove to Montana, and he left me on the border. I never did figure out what was up with his eye.

In Montana, cars whipped past going 10 zillion miles per hour, so I turned north toward Canada, where "Maximum: 10 Zillion" isn't as fast as it sounds. A waitress at a nearby truckstop noticed my direction and asked if I was going to Canada. "Tell 'em to come down and take all their damn geese back!" she screeched.

I'm never quite sure what to do in situations like these. So I grabbed a 24-pack of generic cola beverage in one hand and a monster-sized red hot burrito in the other, pausing only to shred the plastic wrapper of the burrito with my teeth, spitting the shreds in the ditch, where they lightly decorated the dandelions and wild marijuna plants.
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